Can We Trust Babies to Feed Themselves?

Since babies rely on their caregivers, it can be challenging to imagine them being in charge of feeding themselves. But understanding internal motivation can impact how we think about feeding.

Can we trust a baby’s judgment when it comes to food?

A baby self-feeding / Source: Canva   

What exactly is internal motivation?

Internal motivation is when a baby decides whether to eat and how much according to their own reasons and body signals (physical and emotional), rather than because of external pressure.

Consider this example: 

The whole family is eating pasta for dinner and it’s the first time the baby is exposed to this food. The baby decides to reach for some noodles and touches them and explores them, but does not eat any. The next time pasta is served, the baby decides to put some in their mouth but spits it out. The third time, the baby swallows a tiny bite of pasta. 

In these scenarios, the baby is given opportunities and decides for themself what step they are ready to take. The baby eats the food when they are ready. This may take a lot of time. What’s important is that the baby knows caregivers will trust them to eat the food when they are ready. 

Infant grabbing pasta

An infant exploring pasta / Source: Canva

How is internal motivation different from extrinsic motivation?

Positive reinforcement, like giving infants dessert or giving praise by saying “Good job! I am proud of you!” only when they eat everything that is in front of them is an example of extrinsic motivation. Punishing a baby and not letting them play unless they eat (even when they don’t want to) is also an extrinsic motivating factor. 

In the pasta example given above, if the caregiver decided not to let the baby play with the food and made them eat the pasta, this could interfere with the baby’s comfort, curiosity, and pleasure at mealtime. 

Here are more examples of extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation: 

Extrinsic motivation

A baby finishes his plate so he can get dessert. 

A baby eats her vegetables so she can play with her toys. 

A baby eats what is given to her to please her mom and dad.

A baby eats a new food because he gets a sticker for each new food he tries. 

Intrinsic motivation

A baby finishes his plate because he is hungry. 

A baby eats her vegetables because she enjoys the tastes and textures. 

A baby eats what is offered to her because she is curious about its smell.

A baby tries a new food because he sees the rest of his family eat it.

 

Effects of extrinsic motivation on child development

With extrinsic motivation, because another person is leading the way, this can result in the baby:

  • Not learning or developing appropriate sensory-motor skills. 

  • Not feeling confident in their feeding skills.

  • Becoming dependent on external factors like rewards. 

  • Not trusting their hunger and satiety cues. 

What does the research say?

In one study, parents of 170 college students filled out a questionnaire about how they fed their child, and the students did the same, recalling their parents' feeding practices. The study found that pressuring children to eat led to more disordered eating and less intuitive eating in college (1).

A toddler refusing to eat / Source: Canva

Why is intrinsic motivation important?

While directive feeding practices often come from a good place where parents worry about their baby’s health, it can sometimes backfire and lead to a negative relationship with food. Caregivers may adopt counterproductive feeding practices because they were told they “have to get a certain amount of food into their baby.” This can lead to resistance from the baby, which in turn can increase pressure, making the baby resist even more, and so on. 

Conversely, promoting intrinsic motivation (by modelling for example) and letting infants experiment can allow them to develop a healthy relationship with food. It is important to look at a baby’s overall state rather than just focus on the volume they are taking in. Do they seem agitated, distracted, or stressed? Are they hungry or are they refusing to eat?  

Family meals help babies explore their environment and learn new skills. A study even showed that it can improve the well-being of parents (2).

How does intrinsic motivation influence learning? 

Encouraging internal motivation in babies can help them feel safe, comfortable, and more focused, all of which make the baby ready to learn and better assimilate the various new sensations they will experience.

Babies eat best when they feel well both physically and emotionally. When a baby associates positive experiences with eating, they will more likely want to revisit it again, which allows them to keep learning, developing, and refining new feeding skills.

Happy infant eating

An infant happy during mealtime / Source: Canva

So…can we trust babies to feed themselves?

Yes! Just like with breastfeeding, babies should be in control of feeding. Caregivers can still assist and support, but the baby makes the final decision. Being in tune with the baby's internal motivation helps them develop self-feeding skills and helps build a positive relationship with food for the future.

To learn more about the brain-body connection and how to facilitate intrinsic motivation at mealtimes, attend our next training session titled “Internal Motivation: Trusting Babies to Feed Themselves From Their First Bite” with speech-language pathologist Heidi Liefer Moreland, MS, CCC-SLP, BCS-S, CLC.

This training focuses on the important role internal motivation plays in the baby's ability to process food experiences and make meaningful progress in feeding. You will learn the role of the brain-body connection in recognizing, interpreting and integrating external information and internal body signals, and how to create meaningful food experiences that will facilitate purposeful mealtime participation and skill development.

Learning Objectives:

  • List external motivations to eat and explain the problems with using them in feeding.

  • List internal motivations to eat and explain why they are important for motor development, sensory processing and the development of self-regulation.

  • List the internal and external barriers to recognizing and responding to internal motivation.

  • Explain how to facilitate internal motivations in mealtimes and feeding therapy.

Heidi Moreland MS, CCC-SLP, BCS-S, CLC is a seasoned speech-language pathologist with nearly 25 years of experience, specializing in pediatric feeding and swallowing disorders. As the clinical coordinator and a treating therapist at Thrive by Spectrum Pediatrics, she has dedicated her career to helping families and children overcome eating challenges and build deeper connections through food.

References

  1. Ellis, J. M., Galloway, A. T., Webb, R. M., Martz, D. M., & Farrow, C. V. (2016). Recollections of pressure to eat during childhood, but not picky eating, predict young adult eating behavior. Appetite, 97, 58–63. doi: 10.1016/j.appet.2015.11.020.

  2. Utter, J., Larson, N., Berge, J. M., Eisenberg, M. E., Fulkerson, J. A., & Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2018). Family meals among parents: Associations with nutritional, social and emotional wellbeing. Preventive Medicine, 113, 7–12. doi: 10.1016/j.ypmed.2018.05.006.

Thank you to Heidi Liefer Moreland for providing the content for this post. 
Written by Angie Daher, McGill University Dietetics student, and edited by Jessica Coll
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